surplus to requirements when at home with mum and the kids,
according to a new survey.
Now that women have become more proficient at juggling motherhood
with full and part-time work, dads are becoming less certain about
their role within the family unit. In fact, 66% of dads
readily admit they no longer have any influence over meal times,
health care, bedtime or daily routine for their children. 40%
of dads REGRET agreeing to be the main breadwinner so their partner
could be the main child carer. A whopping 58% think mums get
the better deal as they have forged a strong relationship and
routine with the kids whilst dads work long hours. And as a
consequence, dads no longer feel they have an active and vital role
in the upbringing of their own children.
Faye Mingo, spokeswoman for parenting club
which commissioned the poll of 2,000 dads said:- "Economic
circumstances, work pressures and the nature of family relationships
have changed over the years. Mums are increasing juggling more
of these responsibilities which has led to dads feeling left out and
confused about their role.
Society's lack of lack of recognition for dads’ contribution in
bringing up children has also left them feeling confused about where
they fit in family life. Yet they want to be involved and feel
valued. So called 'do-it-all' mums need to involve dads more
and consider their needs as fathers, especially as nowadays most
modern day dads are happy to share the responsibility of looking
after the children."
Nearly half of dads resent the close relationship their partners
have forged with the children – claiming their partner only had eyes
for the baby the minute they were born. 33% of dads felt left
out the minute their partner fell pregnant, because it was difficult
for them to feel involved. In fact, 55% willed the birth to
arrive quickly so they could play an active part in parenthood.
But 40% of dads felt they had nothing to do after the baby was born,
as mum dominated the feeding and sleeping patterns.
Faye Mingo, spokeswoman for Bounty.com said:- "Dads are left
floundering during the pregnancy, and often as soon as the baby is
born. There can be a huge expectation about the work involved
with a newborn, but actually in the early weeks the main care is
focused on feeding and sleeping – something mum tends to take
But just because Dads work it doesn’t mean they can’t share the
night time routine, both to develop that special bond with baby and
also to ensure both parents are well rested for the day ahead."
And once children become toddlers matters don’t improve – despite
turning to dad for games and play, mum is still the one they want
for comfort and advice. The poll reveals that 69% of children
who wake in the night call out for mum rather than dad. And if
they get out of bed in the night they are more likely to walk round
to mum’s side of the bed than dads. A further 62% of dads say
their kids always run to mum for advice about school work, clothes,
and food. And when feeling poorly, 74% of children only want
their mum for cuddles and reassurance. As a result, half of
dads claim to feel hurt and useless on the days they are at home
with the children.
Faye Mingo continues:- "In most households mum has the final
say day to day. She is the one who makes the main decisions about
child care and is the one who is there when the children hurt
themselves, cry, laugh or achieve something. And whilst Dads
want to be actively involved on their days off work, it's hard for
mums to hand over the reins and let Dad do things his way.
Couples need to compromise on weekends; mums may need more help with
the housework, but dads need to be given more control and feel
involved with the children, which is why bounty.com now offers dads
their own section on our site."
66% of dads admitted that deciding they should be the one to go out
to work was a joint decision. And a further 55% appreciate
that if they had wanted to be a house husband, their partner would
have happily let them.
SOUTHPORT COMMUNITY PAYBACK IN ACTION
GRAFFITI has been removed from
walls and fences in the Southport, Marshside area, by previous
offenders, as part of the Community Payback scheme.
Following a meeting with local Councillors on the Elswick Road car
park, initiated by Cambridge Ward Police Community Support & Traffic
Officer (PCSTO) Chris Ward, graffiti disclaimer forms were delivered
to relevant houses to allow Sefton Council to remove the graffiti
under the scheme.
PCSTO Ward commented:- “This is what can be achieved by taking
a multi-agency approach to dealing with issues of anti-social
behaviour. Work continues to identify those responsible for graffiti
and arrests are expected shortly. More initiatives are planned for
the area. I hope local residents will see the improvement this has
made and continue to work with the Police, Councillors Sue McGuire,
Carmel Preston and Tom Glover, the housing agencies and other
agencies to build a safer stronger neighbourhood for all.”
Inspector Neil Moss of the Southport North East Neighbourhood
continued:- “Chris is a very dedicated Officer and it is to
his credit that this has been achieved. In addition to this
environmental work other concerns in the area are being addressed.
One arrest for criminal damage to property, and seizure of a scooter
from a rider with no licence and no insurance have also taken place
in the area within the last month. Residents should be assured that,
with the help of the local community, the minority of individuals or
families who cause issues in the area will be identified, and action
will be taken against them.”
Residents of Cambridge & Meols wards are invited to have their say
on deciding the Neighbourhood Policing Priorities for the next three
months at the next Community Matters meeting.
This will be held at
Stanley High School Sports College at 6.00PM on Tuesday, 26 May 2009.
CALLING ALL WOMEN -
YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL NEEDS YOU!
DO you want to have a say in the
decisions that impact on your community?
Do you want our local
councils to better represent the needs of you and your family?
If the answer is yes, why not attend a free event to be held on
Friday, 29 May 2009 at Liverpool Town Hall, to encourage more Black,
Asian and minority ethnic (BAME) women to get involved as local
councillors. This event is open to women from all over Liverpool.
Currently, across England our councils are not even close to being
representative of their communities – only around 149 out of 19,617
councillors are BAME women. To fully reflect society the number
would have to rise nearer to 1000.
Women interested in attending should register online at:-
livegroup.co.uk/bame or call 0208 481 3375.
The event will be led by Cllr Mia Jones, member of the BAME Women
Cllr Mia Jones is part of the 16 member strong Taskforce, announced
in May 2008 by Harriet Harman, Minister for Women and Equality.
Its aim is to encourage more BAME women to think positively about
becoming local councilors. It is cross-party and includes
councillors and former councillors from across Britain.